


Thanks Pete

by kingkeenanthegreat



Series: Fluff Out Boy [1]
Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: M/M, children are mentioned, goth stuff, idk - Freeform, maybe smut?, memes will be mentioned, pete can be an idiot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-15
Updated: 2015-07-04
Packaged: 2018-03-30 14:43:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3940690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingkeenanthegreat/pseuds/kingkeenanthegreat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Living with Pete was sometimes more than Patrick bargained for</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Why you should use an incognito tab

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, sorry, had to reupload this cause i screwed up something in the process of originally uploading it so sorry about that if you're like "Didn't I leave kudos? WHERE IS MY COMMENT!" It disappeared. You can leave kudos again if you want. Once again, sorry. New to this.

"Pete, what the hell are you doing?" Patrick asked. He had just walked into their shared apartment after going to get the two some Starbucks, and was greeted with Pete on the coach on Patrick's computer.

"Research," Pete said simply, not looking up from the screen.

"On my computer? What are you researching that you can't do on your own computer?" Patrick asked. He didn't mind Pete using his computer if his wasn't working, but he knew Pete's worked just fucking fine. And he was very possessive of that computer. All his work for whatever the future of Fall Out Boy was was on that computer. If Pete deleted it by accident, he was screwed.

"I'm researching your Pornhub history," Pete told him, finally looking up to wink at Patrick. The latter went so red so fast you'd think he'd spontaneously turned into a tomato.

"You aren't," Patrick said, voice shacking.

"You sure? I watched a few. 'I don't like getting tied up' you said. YOU LIED!" Pete told him. Patrick ran over, snatched the computer, and ran to their shared bedroom to put the computer away before laying on the bed and dying of embarrassment.

"Dude, it's fine," Pete said, walking into the bedroom. "I think it's hot. Imagine you tied to the bedpost! Damn, your breathy moans, you pulling against the restraints put on you. Fuck, it'd be so hot. Here, you know what, I know where your Soul Punk ties are, this is happening," Pete said, going to the closet the pull out a couple of the ties Patrick was obsessed with during Soul Punk. While his style has gotten more casual since then, he still loves to dress up.

"PETE NO WHAT THE FUCK WE ARE NOT SOILING THE SOUL PUNK TIES JESUS CHRIST," Patrick screamed, probably way to loud. He took a deep breathe and continued. "Can we, you know, not have sex tonight? Honestly, after that, I'm not exactly in the mood."  
Pete walked over to the bed and stood beside it.

"Ugh, yeah that's fine. But when you are in the mood, we are totally getting you tied up," Pete says confidently. His confidence only wavers when he hears what Patrick whispers.

"You'd be the one getting tied up, dickhead" He says as he pulls the covers over himself, deciding to call it a night. Apparently Pete decided to call it a night too, cause he fainted on top of Patrick.


	2. Mic shaped trophies and a nightmare meme

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> APMAS are great. Until the morning after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep. Second chapter already. Within one day. Aren't I swell?

Possibly the strangest thing about Pete was his ability to get the internet to freaking explode. What was even stranger was when it wasn't his fault.

It was the APMAS, and they were PUMPED. They had been nominated for artist of the year and they won. They were so excited. As Joe, Andy, Patrick and Pete walked onto the stage, with My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark being played by the orchestra, Patrick could only think about how amazing his fans were. Soon, he'd think about how terrible they were, but for the moment, he loved them with all his heart.

"So, uh, first off, we should probably thank Mike Shay and Alternative Press, um, for putting us on the cover of our first magazine and we definitely had no business being on the cover of any magazine and that's awesome and-," Pete was cut off by adoring fans starting to scream. "I think more importantly, thank you to Alternative Press for, uh, helping to create this community and, uh, nurture this community and all the up-and-coming artists that are coming out and thanks to Mark Hoppus for being my dad," Pete finished. Patrick began to laugh as the audience began to scream. Patrick walked up to the mic and got on his toes so he could actually speak into the thing. It was times like this where he remembered that society often overlooked men who were 5"5.

"And uh, thanks for this mic stand for being really tall. Um-" he begans to laugh, but before he realized it, Pete was picking him up. Not much, about and inch, but still enough to get his toes off the ground.

"Thanks Pete" he said, voice much higher than he expected it to be. The large vocal he possessed didn't just apply to his singing, but always to his talking. It would get higher than you'd think sometimes, but he was use to it.

"Uh, we wanna thank, uh, we wanna thank the fans because, uh, it's amazing that there were so many good bands up there and -," Like Pete, he too was cut off by screaming fans. If the band was happy, that typically meant the fans were as happy as they would be when they had their first child. "Thank you so much!" They waved at the crowd and headed of the stage with their mic trophies.

 

The next morning (more like afternoon, but afternoon was morning for Patrick) he was awoken by Pete screaming "STOP THANKING ME"

Being decently confused by this, Patrick decided he should probably get out of his bunk and check on what was going on. He walks into the main section of the bus, and there Pete was, on Instagram, with Joe and Andy laughing their asses off behind him.

"It's a freaking meme! Oh my god, that is great!" Joe said, laughing like crazy.

"What's a meme?" Patrick asked. He was decently confused. He'd just woken up, he didn't have the effort to use his brain to put 2 and 2 together.

"Oh joy, this should be fun," said Andy.

"What should be fun?"

"Okay, so, remember how Pete lifted you up at the awards last night an you said 'Thanks Pete'?" Andy asked him. Patrick did have a vague memory of that happening.

"Yeah, so?" he asked.

"IT'S A FREAKING MEME!" Pete yelled. He put his phone right in Patrick's face. On it, was a picture of him, Bronx, and Patrick out at the park. Underneath, all of the comments said "Thanks Pete".

Every.  
Single.  
One.

"No, no no no no no nonononono!" Patrick said. This was not what he wanted right now. What he wanted was to pour a bowl of cereal and play stupid games on his iPhone. He did not want cereal with a side of memes. From what his still tired brain could tell, this went almost as viral in the fandom as Pete's dick.

"Oh shit, what do we do?" Patrick asked. He had some SERIOUS damage control to do. At that moment, Joe ran outside the bus. Andy, Pete and Patrick all stood and stared at the door until Joe came back in with the biggest shit eating grin he has ever had on in his life.

"Okay, so I called the marketing department, and I have a solution!" He announced happily. Patrick let out a breathe he didn't know he was holding. 'Thank God' he thought. He wanted this gone as fast as it could be gone.

"What's the plan?" Patrick asked. The three of them looked to Joe for his answer as his smile became wider.

"Thanks Pete t-shirts"


	3. Honey is for bees silly bear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pete wakes up and he has the perfect name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so short! I wanted to get this out today while I still had time. Hope you enjoy!

"WE SHOULD CALL HIM SAINT!" Pete said out of nowhere. It was 7:00 am so obviously Pete was going to be up. Pete was MUCH better at the whole waking up early thing, so he usually was the one to drive Bronx to school on the days him and Patrick had him.

"What the hell are you talking about Pete?" Patrick asked. If he was gonna be woken up by this, it better be important. He rubbed his eyes and got out of bed.

"The baby! Well, one of the babies. Why did we decide that having two different babies at the same time would be a good idea?" Pete asked. Him and Patrick had been friends with Elisa and Meagan forever. Elisa and Meagan were a lesbian couple that they met a few years back, and they got super close. Eventually, they decided that the four of them were close enough to share a child. They couldn't figure out which two of them would be the biological parents, so they decided to have two. Patrick and Elisa would be supplying genes for one child, Pete and Meagan for the other. It would work similar to how Pete and Ashlee shared Bronx. If they were all happy and ended up okay, than it was worth it.

"You want to name one of the babies Saint? You just want there to be a Saint Wentz!" Patrick said. There was no way in hell that one of his children would be named Saint.

"You said I could name the one Meagan's pregnant with!" Pete said. And sadly, he was right. Patrick had agreed to let him name one of the babies. Why the _**fuck**_ had he let Pete name one of the babies?

"Okay, let's make a deal. If the kid waits until the end of the tour to be born, we'll name him Saint, alright? But you have to talk to Meagan and Elisa about this!" Patrick said. Him and Pete can't just make all of the decisions. The mothers have to make some decisions too. "Yes! I'll call Meagan now, an Elisa too!" Pete said, running into the other room to make the call. Patrick, meanwhile, decided to get back to bed. As he was thinking about some of his favorite music, it hit him.

Declan.


	4. Teen phases and lamb's blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick has a confession about his teenage years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI I'M BACK. Did you miss me? I've been busy. But still, new chapter! Enjoy!

"Remember your emo phase?" Patrick asked Pete. They were lying on their bed watching tv. Tour was over, and for once in a million freaking years Declan and Saint were actually sleeping. It was a miracle. 

"Um, yes?" Pete replied. Of course Pete remembers, it lasted nearly 5 years. It was awkward to say the least.

"Do you ever want to like, go back into your emo phase?" Patrick asked. "Like, an emo relapse."

Pete thinks for a moment. Yeah, there have been times where he wanted to be an emo fuck again, but then he remembers 2007 and decides that that is a terrible idea. He has children now, emo parents are not aloud to exist.

"Um, I guess, but that's why I dyed my hair blonde. So that I couldn't go back to the days of 2005," Pete explains.

"Did you ever have, like, a goth phase?" Patrick asked.

"I mean, I listened to a lot of Goth Rock when I was a teenager, but that was back when I had dreads and shit. I kinda miss those dreads." Pete said. "I was listening to Metallica for the most part though. Why?"

"I may or may not have gone through a goth phase in high school," Patrick told him, before covering his face with his hands.

"You went through a goth phase!? Like, $300 boots, black eye makeup, 'Bauhaus is the best band ever and you're all just conformist fucks' goth phase?" Pete asked. Patrick noded, hands still covering his now red face.

"I nearly dyed my hair black, and I seriously considered shaving my eyebrows off. Pete, it was literally fucking crazy. I would put gray eyeshadow under my check bones so I could look like a deathrocker. I literally wore red lipstick to school cause I wanted to look like Robert Smith," Patrick confessed. He had even tried smoking once, but he coughed like a bitch, so that never happened again. "Me and my friend Olivia used to sneak out of school so we could go eat lunch in the graveyard."

"Holy shit, how old were you?" Pete asked.

"15," Patrick told him. Thank God his goth phase was over by the time he met Joe, Pete and Andy, or who fucking knows what would have happened. Fall Out Boy could've been a goth rock band for all he knows if his goth phase hadn't stopped when it did.

"Oh my God, that is hilarious!" Pete said, laughing his ass off. That's the thing with Pete, you bring up his emo phase, he gets embarrassed. You bring up anyone else's terrible teenage memories, he laughs until there is no tomorrow (well, for Pete it was til he was like 30, but still). "You nearly shaved your eyebrows off! You had fucking graveyard picnics! Jesus Christ, that is great!"  
"My point is I kind of miss it! You know, wearing all black, not giving a damn, listening to Siousxie Sioux like she was Jesus. It was fun. I mean, I'm not gonna go goth again, but it's fun to remember, you know?" Patrick said. It's not like those times were bad. They were fun. He felt happy. Pete ignored this and went on.

"You were probably the kind of person who watched Pulp Fiction and the Munsters religiously!" Pete said, before stopping for a second. "Holy shit. That's it!"

"What's it?" Patrick asked. He wasn't quite understanding what Pete was talking about.

"The next song on the record! The single we needed to make the record complete! We can sample the Munsters theme! I can see it now! 'She wants to dance like Uma Thurman!' This is perfect!" Pete said, already thinking of lamb's blood and moving mountains and cities made of Gems.

"Oh dear Jesus. My goth phase cannot become a song!" Patrick told him.

"Yes it can! Come on, get your computer out, let's write this thing!" Pete told him. He looked at his mad tiny husband getting his computer.

"Damn Stump. I can't get you out of my head."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, fun fact: Despite being Fall Out Boy trash, I'm a goth. I love Bauhaus and the Cure and 69 Eyes and ugh I love goth rock so much. And I kind of want to write a goth au now. Would you guys like that? Tell me in the comments if you would like that.


	5. By the way, what he say?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pete has a very important question for his husband.

Pete was watching videos of the Soul Punk tour. He loved watching them. He had been to some of the shows and DAMN was it good. But this time it was because he had a very important question in mind that he needed answers for. Thus, he was watching Soul Punk videos mainly to watch Patrick's ass.

"Are you watching Soul Punk videos again?" Patrick asked. This wasn't the first time he caught Pete watching those videos. Sometimes Pete was watching it for the music, other times Patrick would walk in and find Pete jacking off to a video of him performing Explode.

"Yep. And this time it's important," Pete told him. He paused the video and stood up, and looked his husband of two years straight in the eye.

"Can you twerk?" Pete asked him. Patrick, being the 30 year old father of three that he was, was a bit taken back by this.

"Why the fuck do you want to know if I can twerk? Dude, **_I_** don't even know if I can twerk!" Patrick said. "And why did you need to watch Soul Punk to figure that out?"

"Cause you did a lot of dancing during Soul Punk, I wanted to see if I could find possible signs of twerking!" Pete explained. It was RESEARCH DAMMIT! "Now I am going to put Anaconda on and you are gonna put your feet on the wall and try to twerk!"

"Oh my God, no!" Patrick told him.

"Please? It's important!" "How?"

"It's for the Uma Thurman video!" Pete told him. Patrick was silent for a while before responding.

"Okay, 1) I am not twerking in a music video, THEY PLAY THIS STUFF ON MTV PETE! 2) Fine. We will see if I can twerk but afterwards we will never speak of it again," Patrick told him. Then it began. Pete put Anaconda on and Patrick put his feet on the wall and hands on the ground, preparing to die of humiliation.

_My anaconda don't_

_My anaconda don't_

_My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hun_

Patrick started to move his hips in a way that kind of made his ass move? He wasn't sure. Pete was quiet on his end, so he had no idea if he was doing this right.

_Boy toy named Troy, used to live in Detroit_

_Big dope dealer money, he was gettin' some coins_

_Was in shootouts with the law but he live in a palace_

_Bought me Alexander McQueen, he was keeping me stylish_

'Holy shit' Pete thought. Patrick could TWERK. Like, not Miley Cyrus bullshit, like legitimate twerking. Honestly, he was kind of amazed.

Patrick ended up twerking for about the whole song up. The song stopped and he got off of the wall.

"So, um... How did I do?" Patrick asked. He honestly didn't know what to do in this situation.

"ARE YOU SURE WE CAN'T HAVE YOU TWERK IN THE UMA MUSIC VIDEO?" Pete blurted out. Honestly, seeing his husband do that was kind of amazing.

"So I'm guessing I did well. And NO. NEVER. THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN!" Patrick told him. The two of them decided to call it a night. Once they got into bed, Pete grabbed Patrick's ass.

"My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hun," Pete said laughing. Patrick just hit him and went to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't sleep okay don't judge me


	6. Picture frames and war

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pete finds an old picture of Patrick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAVEN'T UPLOADED IN FOREVER I'M SORRY

"Hey Pete," Patrick said as he walked through the door to their house. He may or may not have just brought a new guitar and may not have a place to put it but you know what it was all okay cause he totally needed it.

"Hey, why don't you call your mom anymore? She feels like you've abandoned her according to her texts," Pete said, laying on the coach with Declan and Saint passed out on his chest. He had one arm over the two boys, holding them in place and making sure they don't fall off, and the other hand was busy with an iPhone texting.

"Jesus Christ, Pete, why are you texting my mom?" Patrick asked, leaning the guitar and case against the wall, praying to God that it wouldn't fall down. He picked up Declan off of Pete's chest and hugged the still sleeping infant to his chest. 

"Just asked her for a little picture," Pete said. Patrick sighed, realizing that his mother had probably sent Pete one of his baby pictures to compare it to Declan. Pete had done the same with his own baby pictures and Bronx when he was a baby, and was constantly doing it with Saint, so Patrick wouldn't be surprised if that was what Pete was doing. 

"Here, let me see," Patrick said, turing Pete's phone so he could see it. And then he nearly screamed. It wasn't a baby picture. It was a picture his mom had taken of him during his goth phase when he was 15. In it, he was wearing a Bauhaus t-shirt underneath a long sleeve fishnet t-shirt, some tripp pants with chains, fucking $300 boots with a billion buckles, spiked bracelets, and oh Jesus Christ he was wearing eyeliner. His longish blonde hair didn't help.

"Oh my God, the look on you're face! I kind of want to frame this picture, not gonna lie," Pete told him.

And a few days afterwards, he did. Patrick walked into his house and found the picture framed in the living room. And it was right next to their wedding photo.

Patrick decided he needed to get revenge. So, he went to his laptop, found a picture of Pete from 2007, and printed it out. He got a frame from Kmart, and then proceeded to put it on the wall in the living room, so Pete would have to see it. And he put it on the opposite side of their wedding photo. Needless to say, Pete didn't bring the picture up again. But those two pictures did stay on the wall for quite a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aw goth stuff. gotta love it.


	7. When you're too short to get laid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Imagine Person A of your OTP noticing for the first time that Person B has to stand on their tippy-toes to kiss them. A can’t stop laughing. B’s reaction is up to you. Either way, more kissing and cuddling ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I got this prompt from otppromts.tumblr.com, and I felt it fit peterick a bit too well, so it had to happen. I hope you enjoy!

'Holy shit' Pete thought as he kissed Patrick. That was his typical reaction, but this time it was brought on by something different. Patrick is a bit shorter than Pete is. It's normal, it's not like that's a new thing. The new thing is Pete noticing that Patrick has to get on his tippy toes to kiss him.

Patrick breaks the kiss and looks at Pete. He knows what that look means, and it means Pete's getting laid, but Pete is about to ruin the chances of that happening.

"Oh my God!" Pete says, breaking out laughing. He doesn't notice that Patrick looks hurt and confused.

"What? What's so funny?" Patrick asks.

"Tippy-toes!" Pete manages to get out between laughs, and continues to laugh like a fucking maniac.

"Oh Jesus Christ, are you kidding me? Seriously Pete? Seriously?" Patrick says.

"Hell yeah seriously! That's so fucking adorable!" Pete laughs, finally starting to calm down.

"Oh my God no I WANT TO BE SEXY DAMMIT!" Patrick yells.

"It's alright! Just go put on a suit and I'll pop a boner in less than a second! It's all good!" Pete tells him.

Patrick puts on the suit.

And that is when both Declan and Saint decide it's a good time to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was nearly smut but I'm more comedy than sexy. QUESTION FOR THE SPANISH SPEAKING READERS: Would you guys lile me to try and translate this or my other fic into Spanish? I've been taking Spanish classes and I want to get better at becoming fluent and writing and I feel like it'd be a win-win for both of us if I tried to translate the fics! Idk, tell me if you think that would be a good idea in the comments! And if one of you would like to beta a spanish version of this so that I don't fuck up too badly let me know!


	8. Hello my baby, hello my darling, hello darkness my old friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> otpprompts.tumblr.com: Imagine Person A of your OTP showing Person B their rarest pepes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started writing this yesterday and if you check Pete's twitter you'll know a thing happened so yeah. Check the bottom for all the links to the Pepes I used! Also, sorry I haven't been on! I started a college class and I've had AP work and I saw FOB live! It's been hectic but I am back!

"Hey, who do you think would make a better toy for Saint and Declan, Kermit or a custom made rare Pepe?" Pete asked casually. They were sitting on the couch, watching tv. The boys were finally asleep. Patrick, having no idea what on earth Pete was talking about, was very confused. 

"The hell is a Pepe?" Patrick asked. Pete gasped. He literally gasped. Was this some sort of children's character Patrick was suppose to know about? He knew that Bronx loved The Amazing World of Gumball and Steven Universe (Which Patrick kind of loved he wasn't gonna lie) and Uncle Grampa and Clarence and Gravity Falls, but he didn't know about any Pepe.

"Ugh, here let me show you," Pete said. He pulled out his phone and pulled up a picture of a sad green frog thing. (1) "This is a pretty standard Pepe"

"I don't understand," Patrick said. It was just a sad frog thing, why the fuck is that a kids character?

"It's a meme, it's awesome. Here, I'll show you some of my rare Pepes," Pete told him. He went through his pictures. And there it was. A Pepe coin. (2)

"No Pete what the fuck no we are not getting the children a meme toy! What is wrong with you?" Patrick asked.

"Come on, their great! Here, let me show you another one," Pete went through some more photos of what looked like it was suppose to be a gangster pepe? (3) Patrick was very confused.

"Pete, no. We can get the boys Kermit, but we are not getting them a goddamn meme," Patrick explains. He understood that his husband loved memes, but God enough is enough.

"Oh, this is the best one!" Pete said, ignoring him. He pulled out a picture of Pepe on their FUCKING ALBUM COVER. (4)

"PETE NO JESUS CHRIST FUCK THIS I'M GOING TO BED," Patrick told him. He got off the coach and walked to their bedroom.

He woke up the next morning, and as always, he checked his boyfriend's twitter. It was basically to make sure he didn't do anything stupid. He did. He had changed his account name from Pete Wentz to pepe wentz and had tweeted "Trying to be the rarest"

Patrick was going to fucking kill him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) http://pepethefrogblog.tumblr.com/post/88740013975/talks-pepe-the-frog  
> (2) https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=1023925.0  
> (3) http://brianbeavers.tumblr.com/post/113010213777  
> (4) http://qrowleth.tumblr.com/post/110362435405/shes-an-american-beauty-im-an-american-pepe


End file.
